Yesterday I hit a wall of emotions. At first I was disappointed about the surgery. Not that I have to have it but that I have to wait so long. Then I was ok. I was not jumping with joy but things were ok. Then I was giddy about starting classes. When I got to my second job things were really slow and I had too much time to think. Things are not going well at my regular job. That's why I got the second job in the first place. I see things slowing down so much I don't know how the company will survive. It breaks my heart. Not to lose my job. I will survive. But my parents are older and their lives are invested in this business. I worry about their health and well being if something happens. I pray that things will change but this economy has a death grip on us and we can barely breathe. It takes it's toll on me as well since I handle the money. I know I can only do so much and am praying for the miracle to come. I just hope it's not too late. All these thoughts just had me in a dark place last night. I hate that feeling. My stomach was in knots and I just wanted to cry. Luckily though I was at work and couldn't let my emotions get the best of me so I held them in and they slowly drifted away.
I am feeling better today but work still has me anxious. If I could just find a secret money tree life would be great! Until then I just have to keep plugging along one day at a time.
An update on the surgery. It's currently scheduled for October 5th. Hopefully some time will open up in September but that's highly doubtful unless there is a cancellation or something. Maybe being super busy with work and school will help me get through the next few weeks.
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